Indigo Visions

Indigo Visions

I often experience what I call indigo visions. They happen in between my sleep and wake state like liminal spaces between worlds. In the past they would jerk me awake over and over again with a sense of impending doom and leave me sleepless at night.

For years I tried to medicate these away to no avail. Later in life, after exhausting myself in over achieving, I decided to lean into the doom, like peeping through a hole in the floor to the darkness below. I could feel some truth lay just beyond the panic, but my reach was encircled by such fear that it would not let my body remember. This chasm of trauma, fire, and loss seemed too deep to process, but as I shed layers of loss through long years of therapy and change, I was able to stretch time and lean into these spaces where truly magical insight began to happen.

One evening in particular I remember the swirling colors in my mind and being enwrapped in indigo light. As I leaned into this vision the indigo turned into deep blue eyes...the eyes of a child looking back at me. We stood at arms distance not speaking when this little girl with the deepest blue eyes reached out her hand to take mine. I knew at that moment I was seeing myself as a very young child. She said to me "I am the child of wonder...full of love and life before all the darkness and burning happened to you. Take my hand and I will lead you back to that magical place of innocence and wonder."

I can see how this vision is connected to one I had a few days ago. It was short, but the indigo light began to swirl and I paused the recording to record what was appearing to me. I'm posting that again because I can see the deep soul connection. What a wonderful journey this is becoming...I am writing my way back home.

I stand in the wilderness of my own imagination. Creeping eyes of darkness remind me I have no protector here. A doe approaches me and I catch her gaze...soft brown eyes look back at me. Other faces crowd in for my attention. Space and time swirl like paint strokes of indigo around us. I reach out and stroke the soft fur below her eyes. She stands waiting.

"I am here to give you a gift. I am the innocence that waits for you. Arch out your neck and feel the courage of your vulnerability....
Soon you will know."

I can see this is a process of allowing open spaces where my soul waits for me...she is there waiting whether appearing to me as a fawn or a little girl beckoning me to stretch forth my vulnerability in all its hues and experiences. These visions form the core of my own truth. The process does take courage, but not the stiff upper lip kind, but the raw, opening of spirit and soul that brings with it wisdom - gentle, kind, and without malice. It's not perfection in writing that I seek, but an unfolding of voice and return to wholeness where I began.